Well...today was on the verge of horrible. A ten hour work day with only one thirty minute break. I come home, and have an IM from her wanting to ask a question. I e-mail her back and she asks me who told her that her and her boyfriend were together and not to lie because I'm protecting someone.
First off...why in the blinking blue heck does she care that I know? Is she that insecure in her relationship with him, that me knowing is going to somehow cause the catastrophic downfall of her newly rekindled relationship and plunge her into the abyss of loneliness?
Second...Why is she, once again, trying to insight drama into her life and others, when she claims to hate it so much. I don't know how many times she complained about life being like high school, yet she bring it on herself. Her need for attention is almost the the point of an O.C.D., in my opinion. Although, I know it's mostly because of her past. Nonetheless, you'd think you'd make an effort to elevate the issue from your life some, instead of calling for it with arms wide open.
Third...No one needed to tell me because EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS - IT'S COMPLETELY FREAKING OBVIOUS. A dead stump could figure this one out without a hint.
I love the girl to death, but come on - when does it end? Seriously, I don't intend to be vain or anything, but I honestly feel she's got something in her heart that won't let me go. Every couple of weeks she does something to grab my attention. It's usually immature or whatever, but nevertheless, it does the job because I'm vulnerable.
I really want to give her that letter, but now I feel like I'd be opening Pandora's Box and unleashing an unstoppable hell upon myself - not to mention others. I'm not claiming to be the pinnacled perfection of maturity, but good Lord, please grow up. That, or stop complaining that life is like you are still in high school.
That is all. /rant off
Today's song: One Step Closer by Linkin Park
This Old Record
15 years ago
1 comment:
It sounds like you have had your heart broken, and she has, too. I know how hard this situation must be for you because I am going through it right now, or at least I was. I was in love with someone but couldn't tell them, much like you. Now I am no longer sure that I am in love with them. My heart is torn between two people. I'm not sure what to do, but I do know what you should do. Even if it seems like there is no hope left for you and this girl, even if you feel lost and alone, do not give up. Trust the word of God. You cannot go wrong.
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